The Bathrobe Knight: Volume 3 Read online

  “Right this way, Lady Kass.” Alex gave a half bow then shouted to the phalanx, “Line Row 12!” One of the rows around the middle of the phalanx shifted, men scuffling about, to reveal an opening big enough for a person to easily move through.

  She was wondering why the phalanx was so well formed when there had been so many undead soldiers to defend the place and what was going on with all the fortifications around Lawlheima, but when she finally passed through their formations, it all became clear. There were bodies littered about all over the place, almost all of them around her usual group of players. Darwin was covered in blood to the point where his horns and face, obviously wiped off at some point, were the only part of him not dripping red.

  “Ugh. Was there another large fight? Did we miss out on a big battle?” Valerie complained as she flew above Kass and Alex.

  “Another big fight?” Kass asked aloud, very confused. “I don’t understand. Was there a first one?”

  “Oh, yeah, you weren’t here. Darwin and Alex put together an incredible defense against thousands of the Panda King’s toughest and meanest soldiers. We were kind of confused because the Panda King never showed up in the fight, but it was a clear win. I don’t know all the details, but by the time I logged on yesterday, most of the defense was already prepared by Darwin and the NPCs. I don’t think that guy ever logs off or sleeps. All we had to do was help with some finishing touches before crushing the Animal Kingdom’s army,” Valerie explained.

  “You mean . . .” Kass looked at the bodies around the group. If what Valerie said was true, and they had already gone through two large battles, that meant everyone in the group but her was probably Level 60 already.

  “Yeah, sorry, Kass. You missed out on a lot of EXP. But apparently there was another fight, so maybe it wasn’t your only shot. Maybe there will be more opportunities for you to level up off the Panda King’s army if he is still attacking.” Valerie sounded sympathetic towards Kass and her absenteeism.

  Kass looked at one of the bodies she and Alex had to step over on their way to Darwin. “No, these aren’t beast men. This one is clearly a Jotunn,” she said, making sure not to lose her footing in the blood.

  “Weird, but I thought you just said that their town was in the north. It isn’t close to us, is it?” Valerie asked.

  “No, it isn’t. It’s almost half a day’s travel if you go by boat. For them to be this far south and have this many races mixed in, something’s not right.” Kass’s frown deepened, sagging more than clocks in a Dali painting.

  “You’re not wrong there,” Darwin, who was now close enough to hear her statement, responded. “There’s apparently a quest to clean out this dungeon.”

  “Really?” Kass’s eyes perked up. “That means we’ve already done it. We cleared it like two days ago. Can we go collect the reward? Is it a big reward? It must be. I mean, it drew people from so far away.”

  “Well, we did clear the dungeon, but I meant a quest to clear it now. I’m apparently the one listed as the boss.” Darwin’s face seemed to cheer up at that statement. “Apparently I’m now classified as a great dungeon boss, the King of Demons,” he laughed.

  Ugh. Don’t you know that anyone can tell that laugh is forced, Darwin? Your normal muffled chortle is definitely not that loud. She sighed. “Wait, so players are going to keep pouring in to try and collect the reward? What the heck are we supposed to do then?”

  “I proposed that we try to recruit more players,” Daniel piped up. “Alex could give a quest to kill other players in defense of Lawlheima. It would easily beat most people’s normal leveling. We could pretend like it’s a versus quest and try to raise a bigger army than the ones attacking, but given how much of a head start this current quest giver has had on us, there isn’t a guarantee the force we raise will be big enough to stand off against the oncoming waves of raiders. You know, as soon as those guys respawn, they’re going to try to gather together and come again with an even bigger force.” Daniel scratched his head.

  “Great Lord Darwin, I think that our current force should be adequate to handle any ruffians that try to penetrate our barriers,” Alex stated proudly, dismissing Daniel’s suggestion. “We don’t need the help of outsiders or foreign powers. We will stand strong and weather the storm.”

  Kass didn’t know what to make of Alex’s brazen declaration. In her experience, Alex wasn’t the type to put pride first, especially if it could cost people their lives.

  “Alex, how many men did we lose today?” Darwin asked him.

  “Scouts included? We lost roughly eleven total, Great Lord Darwin,” he answered. He wasn’t frowning, but he wasn’t smiling either. His expression was serious, and it gave Kass the impression that he was actually challenging Darwin and Daniel.

  “Alex, how many people are born every day in our town?” Darwin said, continuing his line of questioning.

  “Every day? Well, maybe one or two a week. There isn’t a guarantee that someone will be born every day,” Alex confirmed the numbers without having to hesitate.

  Kass was kind of astounded by how fast Alex replied. It was as if he had studied that piece of information for a test he knew was coming. Does he know every detail of the population?

  “Great, so do the math, Alex. If we lose even a fourth of the number we lost today, do you think we can survive a year? Will we survive the fifteen years it might take for the infants to grow old enough to replace the warriors on the battlefield? We need help, Alex, not pride,” Darwin said clearly.

  Kass watched the back and forth between the two, and she couldn’t help but think about how Darwin seemed even more mature now than he did when they first met. It was like he had grown wiser and . . . Did he grow taller? No, that’s . . . He does look bigger and taller. Am I just imagining things?

  Alex’s defiant look didn’t fade. “Darwin, you weren’t there at Valcrest. The newcomers to this land . . . I don’t want anything to do with them. We opened our taverns, our homes, our shops and our hearts to them, and they burned it all to the ground. They butchered our fathers and sons in the streets. I won’t forget that. I put up with the ones you brought along because they are honestly good people. There were even good people among the newcomers we welcomed to Valcrest--people like you--but not everyone. Can you promise me that, if we ask them to come to our defense, we won’t just be inviting wolves into the sheep pen?”

  Everyone was silent. No-one had an answer to that. While only Kass and Darwin knew the full story, the weight of Alex’s words and the ire that permeated his voice were sufficient enough to instill a solemn mood in the group. It put them all on edge because each of them was probably thinking the same thing Kass thought: We’re just like the ones that butchered Alex’s people. We’re just players who look at NPCs and see vendors and EXP or quest givers--not people. Such reflection on the personhood of NPCs had been a running cause of self-doubt for her ever since she had first met Darwin and was constantly faced with computer-generated characters that had more emotional depth than almost every guy that had ever hit on her.

  Darwin took a deep breath that was loud enough to break the silence as he stared down at Alex, his new height difference even more noticeable as he towered over the now-smaller man. “When I was young, I remember how many times people slighted me and hurt my feelings. Every time I complained about it, the teachers used to tell me some nonsense story about how we should forgive them because forgiveness is divine. One of the quotes that a teacher of mine used all the time particularly grated on my nerves. He used to quote a great man and say, ‘The weak can never forgive, forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.’ I didn’t understand it back then, when he first said it, because I didn’t have a choice on whether or not to I should forgive people. It felt like I was only forced to forgive because I was weak.

  “But now, I think I’m starting to understand it. After all, in this instance, you’ve really only got two options. First, you can stay angry at us newcomers. Curse the ground we walk on
and hole up here in Lawlheima. Wait for our numbers to dwindle as the attacks grow larger and more powerful every day--and believe me they will--until, finally, we don’t have a force strong enough to survive and are wiped from existence. Or . . . there is a second option. You can forgive us. You can use us as if past animosity never existed, and let us build numbers and die in your place. You can watch as we do our best to summon more and more of the people you call newcomers until, eventually, there isn’t a single member of the Demon Race that has to perish on account of this stupid quest. You can make the choice to not forgive and stay weak or to let bygones be bygones and, through forgiving, grow strong. That said, this time I’ll listen to your counsel. I won’t force the decision down everyone’s throat. I want you to think long and hard about the people serving under you, the women and children relying on you, and whether or not your grudge is worth their lives.”

  Where does Darwin pull these speeches from? It’s like he had an entire night with a keyboard and a search engine to figure out the best thing to say. Kass was quite surprised. The whole group shifted their gaze to Alex, waiting for him to respond. He had gone from looking angry and defiant to looking like a standing version of Rodin’s The Thinker or a man with nothing better to do than look out a bus window. “Fine. You can seek help from the newcomers, but that doesn’t mean we have to like it.”

  “No, but it does mean you’re going to have to give out quests. Not me, not Daniel--you,” Darwin pressed, exploiting the moment of weakness in Alex’s hatred.

  “Fair enough. I’ll do what must be done to protect our people. I trust you can summon them without my assistance?” He looked positively grumpy as he stood there.

  “Yeah, we can handle it,” Darwin nodded. “I know it was hard, but you’ve made the right decision.”

  “I hope I have. Now, may I be dismissed, Great Lord Darwin?” Alex asked, his tone still sharp.

  “How about, while we work on this, you pull the men back and reorganize the scouting squads into lumber harvesting groups. The phalanx won’t work on this type of enemy, so I’m going to need you to put together some new defensive ideas in case the newcomers we gather fail. If they die, we can get the numbers back quickly, but we don’t need to be taking chances. The mountain above this entrance has a lot of lumber, and the inside has a lot of stone. Make use of both,” Darwin ordered. “Also, you’re dismissed.”

  As soon as Alex left, the immediate dispersal of tension made it feel like everyone had just come up for air after holding their breath for five minutes. “Well, that was unexpected,” Daniel said. “I knew players messed things up, but I didn’t realize how badly we had impacted the world. It kind of makes you wonder: How does the NPC respawn system work?”

  “Yeah, their whole town was sacked. It was all over the boards when it happened.” Kass filled Daniel as briefly as possible. “But let’s focus on the problem at hand.” She puffed up her chest and tried to sound regal and authoritative like Darwin had moments ago. Unfortunately, the only effect was that Kitchens, Darwin and Daniel’s eyes looked south of her face for a moment when she stuck out her chest. Ugh, men . . . I should have known, she grumbled to herself and aborted the straight-backed posture. “We need to figure out how to actually handle this problem, not just agree to let other players help us,” Kass said.

  “Hmmm?” Mclean looked over at Kass, not understanding what she meant. “I thought letting other people fend off the gates was the solution?”

  Ha! I finally get to be the one to explain the str-- Kass began to think triumphantly until Daniel opened his mouth.

  “What she means is that, while players aren’t exactly a commodity that needs producing, there still will be a delay until a sufficient number of players show up to handle the request. In the meantime, we can guard the gate, but are the lot of us enough to hold off any and every enemy?” Daniel looked worriedly at the gate and then at Darwin. “Also, I don’t think we can rely on Darwin to defend the entrance. By the way, what is there to prevent players who take the quest from betraying us and confirming Alex’s fears?”

  Ugh! I was going to say that! Kass mentally kicked herself for not speaking faster. First Darwin got the title and authority up on her, and now Daniel was coming up with the ideas and strategies before she could even speak. It didn’t make sense sometimes. I’ve been with him the whole time. Why do I feel like we’re getting further and further apart? The thought slowly shifted through her head until she was distracted by something Daniel had said. “Wait, why can’t we rely on Darwin to help in the next fight? I know Kitchens and Minx are amazing at dealing damage, but Darwin’s zweihander gives him the most brutal damage and reach, right? He’s like a wrecking ball sometimes.”

  “Darwin is having trouble controlling himself during battles due to a skill. It’d be better if he distanced himself until he gains a better understanding of its mechanics,” Kitchens answered for the others. Darwin just stood there with a hollow look on his face as his empty eyes seemed to settle on something in the distance.

  Where was the passion and strength you had a moment ago as you lectured Alex? Why aren’t you still in this conversation? Kass wanted to ask Darwin, but it felt like he wasn’t even there now, much less listening to anything that was being said.

  “Hmm . . . If we can’t use him in battle, then could he go investigate who is giving out the quest. The forums have that secret quest address plastered all over them. It’s actually really close, but he’d have to sneak into the Panda King’s city to get to the place,” Daniel suggested. “Given that he’s not one of the beast races, and he has giant horns sticking out of his head, it might be a little difficult.”

  “Ah, those.” Mclean looked at them. “Are there no animal men that have giant horns like that?”

  “I’d say some form of man-goat or man-bull, but both of those are actually covered by the Minotaurs and Satyrs, who are White-Horns, not actually part of the Animal Kingdom. Even if he were a Minotaur, he’d stick out like a world-famous athlete showing up to pee-wee football tryouts.” Daniel shrugged. “We could try making him super cloaky like he was a beggar and hope the game’s designers are too deep into poorly-written and inaccurate assassin history to program the NPCs to notice such an obvious disguise.”

  “Hmm . . . Actually, about clothes, Darwin, you are taller, aren’t you?” Kass asked, sizing him up and down for a moment.

  “Yeah? I guess I am.” Darwin snapped back to reality when his name was mentioned, and, after a moment, he answered the question.

  “Well, I’m just gonna say it: You need a longer bathrobe again. I don’t think your flap protection is sufficient to save our poor eyes!” Kass jokingly covered her eyes with her hands. “If we don’t get this fixed, my poor retinas will be ruined for life.”

  “I don’t think the view is so bad.” Minx looked over at Kass with a weird, almost innocent, childlike grin. “It’s almost like what you see when you go to the Internet and type--”

  Kitchens took one horrified look at Minx, then at Darwin and then stopped Minx and declared without hesitation: “We fix this RIGHT AWAY! No questions asked! Darwin, go to a tailor and solve your wardrobe malfunction, or the next fight we have is to the death!”

  Everyone chuckled at the poor father as he guided Darwin all the way back inside the dungeon with a murderous aura. Poor guy, his daughter has probably done way more than he even realizes. Kass almost giggled out loud, but managed to stifle the urge and only smiled instead.

  “Tee-hee. See what I did there? You all do, yes?” Minx had an ear-to-ear, mischievous grin that let the whole group know that was planned.

  “What? So it wasn’t a nice view?”

  “Oh no, it was. Kass, Valerie, Mclean . . .” She listed off their names one by one while scrunching up her eyebrows and putting on a serious face. “Do you want to know details? I saw everything.”

  “Oh, really? Tell me more,” Mclean was stopped when Kass smacked her right arm.

  “We are not ha
ving this talk!” Kass said. “Right, Valerie?” Valerie, however, had frozen up. Wow, your face is as red as your . . . Wait. “Valerie, when did you get red eyes?”

  “Yeah, did you put in contacts in real life? And they bled over into the game? Or wait, how did you give your character a makeover?” Mclean asked. “Does that mean I could get purple eyes in the game?!”

  “Oh umm . . . I don’t know how this happened,” Valerie said as she self-consciously touched her face. “It just happened, and I don’t know why.”

  Is she sad or happy about it? Kass wasn’t entirely sure what was going on. It seemed like Valerie wanted to cry, but all that had been mentioned was the fact that she had red eyes. Was this what she was asking about earlier when I first ran into her? Was this the difference she was expecting me to notice? This is so weird. If she was able to change her eye color, why does she look like she’s about to tear up?

  “It’s probably from being in this guild so long. Maybe, over time, we’ll get red eyes too.” Daniel laughed and patted Valerie on the back like her new crimson irises were no big deal. “Don’t sweat the details. Anyway, back to this whole quest deal. I think our best game plan is to make a post on the forum and then pray for the best. We can offer EXP and items as rewards for those who join our cause. Hopefully, if we pitch this correctly, players will see us as a good source for both of those. But how do we stop the potential betrayal?”

  “Yeah, they may treat this as an event where they can get both quest rewards,” Mclean said with a frown. “Unless we kill them all and do it properly.” After saying that, she pulled out her daggers and stabbed the air a few times. Minx joined in with her, shouting ‘yeah’ and mimicking Mclean’s knife play. “Just leave it to me. I’ll cut every one of them down, and the EXP will be all mine!” Mclean boasted.